Alright so more than 25 people thought I should say something about this, and I really respect that so here we go.
You have probably got word about how Edwin Katamba aka MC Kats was allegedly beaten up and run over by his fiancée. You have also probably seen the pictures after the altercation and he has also admitted on social media that that was not his first time to be beaten up by Fille. More to that, you have seen, heard or read all sorts of jokes about how the man was beaten up by a woman plus other people say that he rightfully deserved it because he must have done something to deserve it, something which annoyed the fiancée so much, like the men who have violently abused their women have done so at their leisure time and in the best of their moods, which I’m sure would be the same case had it been a woman that was beaten up. Right? If you haven’t, here are a few.
Well what does all this tell us about the attitudes towards domestic violence with the victims being male? It certainly tells us so much.
Yeah. Sure, let’s laugh about it like domestic violence against men isn’t real. Let us go on and on about how a man was beaten to pulp and run over by his fiancée. Let us through our actions continue to imply that domestic violence is only a thing for the women, that they are the sole victims and when a man gets beaten up, it is something else but domestic violence. Let it be something to laugh about after a long day over drinks. Let us disregard the concerning statistics on violence against men despite numerous cases going unreported due to a wealth of reasons. Also, let us continue to imply through our actions that the men who have lost their lives as a result of domestic violence the perpetrators being women rightfully deserved to die because well, violence against a man is such a big joke.
Had it been the reverse, had it been Fille that was beaten up, social media would be in flames, with everyone expressing such deep concern about the issue and how men are animals. Feminists would have taken this to be concrete evidence of consistent patriarchy and overall female disadvantage. But well, since it’s a man that we are talking about, it is only because she must have been so annoyed, it is nothing but laughable that a man ended up with a swollen face and to others, it was “rightfully deserved”. This is where the “show up it whenever it matters” phrase should sink in folks, let it sink in.
Domestic violence is a tragedy that also happens to men today but I do not seem to understand why it has been systematically spurned and regarded in the eyes of society as something simply laughable as some men have gone through probably their most in facing brutality by women while others have even lost their lives. Contrary to the common perception that women and girls are the sole victims, domestic violence against men and boys can also happen more often than you would probably expect. Men from all cultures and walks of life are and have been victims of domestic violence but state institutions and society in general take such violence less seriously because of the prevailing attitudes towards men, such as the belief that they are fearless, sustain greater pain and are more capable of self-defence.
And speaking of self-defence, I don’t think I need to explain the aftermaths regarding whose story society or the police would believe as being the real victim or who they would side with when in fact it was simply self-defence on the part of the man. It is very obvious. An abused man stands great chances of major scepticism and even greater chances of his abuse being minimised, blamed on him or even excused. I also cannot quantify the times the stereotypical slap has been entertained both in the media and in real life simply because the woman was upset by the man. I just don’t think its also entertained if its the man doing the slapping. He automatically becomes a woman beater.
They always ask the question “Who gives a man the right to violently abuse the body of a woman?” Yeah well, who also gives a woman the right to violently abuse the body of man?
Every 14.6 seconds, somewhere in the world a man is severely assaulted by his wife or girlfriend. Even with majority of male victim cases going unreported for a multitude of reasons, in Uganda according to a 2013 crime report, more men were killed by their spouses in domestic violence than women. It showed that of the 360 people killed in domestic violence that year, 183 were men compared to 177 who were women. Research also carried out in 2013 in Rwanda found out that 10% -15% of men were victims of domestic violence. U.K Government statistics indicate that one in every six men will be victims of domestic violence at some stage in their life. Australia; one in every three victims of domestic violence is male, every 10 days a male will be lost to domestic homicide and one in every four young people are aware of their mum or step-mum hitting their dad or step-dad. Canada; 6% of the men have been abused by their former partners, just 1% behind the figure for women. But yes, let the jokes keep coming in.
Getting exact numbers on domestic violence against men is difficult since so many cases go unreported, but it’s even tougher to figure out just how many men suffer abuse. Some of the reasons, well apart from being laughed at, excusing the abuse or even facing great scepticism are the traditional gender roles in society and the stigma of the perceived weakness of any man who admits to falling victim to a woman. And as long as such attitudes persist, it is unlikely that male victims will feel comfortable reporting or talking about their abuse.
Say NO! to domestic violence against men in all its forms, a victim of domestic violence is still a victim no matter the sex of the attacker, do not let your common perceptions of who the sole victims of the tragedy are and should be, do not let your perceptions suggest that the violence against men is rightfully deserved and most importantly, do not make the violence against a woman more of an issue of national concern while that against a man a mere statistic.